Please note our new policy about food and drink in the theatre. Owing to complaints during our last tourist season, pickled herring and fish & chips will no longer be served. Popcorn will be discontinued because it was not cost-justified (the machine, an American industrial-sized thing, just made too much and it all went stale for lack of patronage).
Our concessionaire will henceforth only serve Smarties and other dry-wrapped
confections. The only drink permitted is Shlug or water -- cola drinks when spilled
make the floor sticky.
-- Samantha Mitherglew,
Manageress & Reviewer
Herring from Harrod's of Gelling -- so fresh it smells like meat!
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All programmes, unless otherwise specified, begin at 5 o'clock sharp
- Aug 1: Sabbath -- closed
- Aug 2: The Zombies of Mora Tau (movie)
- Aug 3: Shane (movie)
- Aug 4: Siegfried Humperdink (Engelbert's brother) song fest [mark this on your calendar!] -- 8 PM
- Aug 5: Mrs Minniver (movie)
- Aug 6: Mrs Minniver Meets the Three Stooges (movie)
- Aug 7: Salmon Rushdie making a rare appearance to recite from his latest book -- please come!
- Aug 8: Sabbath -- closed
- Aug 9: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (movie)
- Aug 10: Long Day's Journey Into Night by our Local Thespian group, starring Hamish Shortling -- you had better not miss this
- Aug 11: ditto
- Aug 12: ditto [you have had 3 chances, so there's no excuse] -- 8 PM
- Aug 13: Snow White -- again (movie)
- Aug 14: Special matinee: Punch & Judy Beat on Barney (have no idea what this is but the puppeteers are famous in Chicago) -- 2 PM
The Kennel Murder Case (movie} -- 8 PM
- Aug 15: Sabbath -- Gelling Girls' Choir Ides Hymn-fest -- 2 PM
- Aug 16: Casablanca (movie)
- Aug 17: Play It again Sam (movie)
- Aug 18: Rodney Smythe and the Testosterones -- one of those awful rock groups (stay away from this!)
- Aug 19: The Pirates of Penzance -- a minimal cast version by our own Dolly-Cart ensemble, you must see!
- Aug 20: ditto -- 8 PM
- Aug 21: ditto [and if you have not seen it yet, you are barred from this place]
- Aug 22: Sabbath -- closed
- Aug 23: Day of the Triffids (movie)
- Aug 24: Macbeth -- John Gielgud doing a reading (no other players)
- Aug 25: Star Wars: Episode 1, The Phantom Menace (movie)
- Aug 26: ditto (and this Queen Armadillo is supposed to be coming here that
day on a tour to sign autographs)
- Aug 27: ditto -- what is this thing that I am forced to show it three times?
- Aug 28: Grobius Shortling recital of Beowulf in Old English -- 9 PM
- Aug 29: Sabbath -- London Philharmonic concert (well the 10 of them that are
not on vacation) -- 4 PM
- Aug 30: nothing scheduled today
- Aug 31: Annual pancake flippers ball. -- 7 PM
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